I have read this very inspiring story in the Health talk column of health and Home Magazine and I just can't help it. I ought to share this with you:

Embracing Cerebral Palsy: Living Life and Loving It By Melinda H. Tormes

There are things we do because we feel compelled to do them or sometimes because we want to. But when the universe challenges us to step beyond our normal lives and take a chance, we do things because we love to. Without us asking why, our life seems to be interwoven into the tapestry of other people’s lives. It is as if loving someone and being loved in return becomes the focal point of our human existence. Such is the case of two persons—Antonio Procopio “Dennis” Ilagan and Ma. Ludivina Grace Salazar—living life and loving each other despite the odds. Their love has invited contempt from people around them because theirs is a different kind—special may be a better word—because both of them have cerebral palsy.

Embracing Cerebral Palsy Born a month earlier than expected, Dennis suffered from a congenital heart malformation that robs the blood of oxygen and caused his skin to turn blue, hence the term “blue baby.” Grace, on the other hand, was delivered prematurely and had periodic attacks of epilepsy when she was a kid. Because of muscle abnormalities, poorly coordinated movements, and delayed motor skills at age 2, Dennis and Grace were diagnosed with cerebral palsy—a brain disorder affecting muscle movement or posture. Abnormal muscle pull made Grace, now 30, and Dennis, now 44, walk bent-kneed despite the aid of their walkers. They also have difficulty maintaining balance so they sort of sway when standing. Even the simple daily tasks that able bodies take for granted become very difficult or impossible for them to accomplish by themselves. Life, in general, has been an uphill struggle for them; still they strived to obtain a college education. Dennis graduated AB Economics from the University of Sto. Thomas, Manila, and Grace finished a degree in Psychology at Trinity University of Asia.

A Right to Love and Be Loved  “I really wanted to marry an able-bodied person,” Dennis said in Tagalog during the H&H interview. But as if life has a way of mocking his dream, Dennis was fortunate to have several relationships with able-bodied women yet unfortunate to have their hands for marriage. “Parents of my past girlfriends usually rejected me because of my disability,” he sighed, half smiling. They questioned my capacity to provide for their children,” he quipped as he related how his search to be loved and cared for by a normal person became a futile attempt. Living an inextricably intertwined life, Dennis unexpectedly fell in love with Grace—a disabled person, too. Despite their parents’ disapproval, they fought for their independence. “I told her [Grace’s] mother I was willing to take the consequences of my actions,” Dennis said. They fought for their freedom of choice. The couple rejoiced on their hard-won victory and held their church wedding on April 29, 2006. But later, Dennis and Grace discovered that fighting for their life would be the biggest fight they have to face.

Living Under the Shadow of Night No night could be colder and wearier than that night of May. He held her hand closer to his chest and gently lowered his head to her ear. With a pained and worried voice he asked her, “Hon, are you all right?” She willed herself to be strong but a rising tide of dread arose in her. Soon, tears welled up from the corner of her eyes followed by a tiny sob, “Don’t leave me, please?”  He encircled his arms around her protectively and felt her deep, steady breath. Dennis knew this was her way of pretending to be calm when she was actually not. Years of being together made him familiar with the things she was afraid of. Getting sick was one. After the removal of the tiny cotton that got stuck into her ear and infected it, she developed high fever and occasional shiver. Dennis flashed his most reassuring smile and whispered, “I’ll be just right by your side.” Those words only made Grace sob even harder, but his hush and presence consoled her.

His heart broke. Her sobs made him weak inside. How he hoped to carry her pains and fears but couldn’t. No matter how he wished to move around and give her first aid, he couldn’t be anywhere except beside her. His movement, slow and frail, could disturb her rest.For three days he patiently watched her as she laid still, sleeping. Whenever she was awake, he would tell her exciting and encouraging stories, half praying that she would get well soon.  

A Well-deserved Life Despite physical hardships, the couple refused to be gripped by cerebral palsy and its mind-numbing consequences. A single passing moment together is a true joy more powerful than a lifetime of sorrow. “My parents, no matter how eager they wanted to, won’t be there for me for the rest of my life. I don’t want the feeling of being left alone. That is why I want to have my own family,” Grace explained. Dennis and Grace are simply fulfilling the essentials of happiness: something to do, to love, and to hope for. Constantly appreciating what is working and not focusing on what’s lacking, together they fear nothing in life. If their acts weren’t intelligent and wise for some, then the couple didn’t know what they were except LOVE.

Embracing CP In many cases, the cause of cerebral palsy is unknown but it is not a disease. Instead, it is a mere form of brain disorder. “It is a term used to describe a group of chronic conditions affecting body movements, posture, and muscle coordination,” said Dr. Francis Xavier M. Dimalanta, medical director of Philippine Cerebral Palsy Incorporated and developmental and behavioral pediatrician of St. Luke’s Medical Center. One of the most common disorders that affect children and adults around the world, cerebral palsy usually takes place before, during, and after child birth. “An estimated 500,000 Filipinos have this kind of disorder,” Dimalanta said. Some of the most common causes of cerebral palsy include mother’s infections during pregnancy, insufficient oxygen reaching the fetus, premature birth, asphyxia during labor and delivery, mother-child blood incompatibility, severe jaundice, and others.

“Cerebral palsy is diagnosed mainly by evaluating how a baby or young child moves. If the child has difficulty learning how to roll over, sit, crawl, or walk, parents should consult a pediatrician,” Dimalanta said.

            “Let us accept these CP patients and make them active in community development,” Dimalanta further said. Through public and private sectors’ help, organizations such as Philippine Cerebral Palsy Inc. will be able to continuously provide therapy and treatment for thousands of Filipinos suffering from cerebral palsy.

            For more information or donation, you may visit Philippine Cerebral Palsy Inc. located at Sacred Heart Street, San Antonio Village, 1200 Makati City or call them at (02)895-1786 or 897-2273.            

Melinda Tormes is senior writer of Health & Home.